I endlessly encounter self-references and musings from girls in many blogs I read (especially on Tumblr), about putting up fake smiles when at their core, they're hurting. I've always convinced myself these statements to be so histrionic and melodramatic of teenage girls these days until TODAY.
For the past three years of my life, I've always subjected myself in deep thoughts wondering what has changed in me. What has made me suddenly awkward and uncomfortable. What has turned me into this self-conscious, always anxious damsel. What has altered me into mediocrity. What fails me to not be able to flash a genuine smile in front of friends and acquaintances on several occasions. Today, I conceived it's because I'm. not. happy.